First things first, if someone had told me a year ago that today I would be married, I would have laughed so hard. Marriage was never one of those things I actively pursued, in fact, I remember someone once telling me that I don't even seem like the marriage type. I really don't know what that meant but here I am today happily married! Today makes six months since my husband and I exchanged our "I Dos" and on this day I decided to start blogging again because my life has changed so much in so little time. Blogging has always been therapeutic for me and I have connected with so many like-minded persons because of it, so doing this is needed.
If you know me, you know that I procrastinate; in every area of my life. If I have something to do, I will wait until the due date to get serious about completing it. I am not proud, but this is who I am. My procrastination did not go away when dealing with planning my wedding. Beyond my dress, everything for the wedding was in my head, planned and figured out, but in reality was not done. I remember having to block the wedding planner a few times because she kept reminding me about deadlines that (in her opinion) I was not taking seriously. Despite it all, everything we wanted became a reality when we walked down the aisle exactly six months ago. I enjoyed that summer day to the fullest and seeing my husband smile from ear to ear made me the happiest bride in the world.
Every week since the wedding I have selected one of the well wish cards and advice that I received during the wedding shower and the one common piece of advice that I have received is "marriage is not a destination but rather a journey". When people stop me and ask "how is the marriage life treating you", I typically respond with a pure answer and it is usually something like "it is a learning process" or "we are adjusting well". The blank stares I get in response are the funniest. But in these short six months, I have learned the true meaning of marriage is to journey together in love, despite the obstacles, being transparent and honest about feelings, ideas and decisions as hard as they may be.
So here I am, six month later with three things I have learnt after my first six months of marriage:
When they tell you marriage is not a destination it is a journey, they were right.
If you know me, you know that I procrastinate; in every area of my life. If I have something to do, I will wait until the due date to get serious about completing it. I am not proud, but this is who I am. My procrastination did not go away when dealing with planning my wedding. Beyond my dress, everything for the wedding was in my head, planned and figured out, but in reality was not done. I remember having to block the wedding planner a few times because she kept reminding me about deadlines that (in her opinion) I was not taking seriously. Despite it all, everything we wanted became a reality when we walked down the aisle exactly six months ago. I enjoyed that summer day to the fullest and seeing my husband smile from ear to ear made me the happiest bride in the world.
Now what?!
We had a late afternoon wedding that continued until about midnight where we drank and danced the night away. Everything about the wedding was true to who my husband and I are as a couple. After we left the wedding site, our friends who flew in for the wedding along with most of the bridal party went up to our honeymoon suite, ordered a crap load of food and drinks and we laughed, drank and partied until the wee hours of the morning. Once everyone left, I remember laying on the bed in my dress looking at my husband and thinking, we are married, now what?!
Every week since the wedding I have selected one of the well wish cards and advice that I received during the wedding shower and the one common piece of advice that I have received is "marriage is not a destination but rather a journey". When people stop me and ask "how is the marriage life treating you", I typically respond with a pure answer and it is usually something like "it is a learning process" or "we are adjusting well". The blank stares I get in response are the funniest. But in these short six months, I have learned the true meaning of marriage is to journey together in love, despite the obstacles, being transparent and honest about feelings, ideas and decisions as hard as they may be.
So here I am, six month later with three things I have learnt after my first six months of marriage:
- Communication is Key: I know this may sound cliche but communicating, whether it is good or bad, is truly key. I have no issue saying what is on my mind, but for me learning how to say things in a way that is not disrespectful, is clear and does not set the wrong tone, was a definitely challenge.Ladies, men are much more emotional than we think. Believe me!
- Transparency makes everything better: keeping things bottled up does not solve any problem. When I am most transparent with my feelings and what I want, my hubby is happiest. This is not always easy and it is not something that comes natural to most, including me, but it makes all the difference. I would say to be prepared for transparency, it is not always the easiest pill to swallow.
- Sex doesn't solve problems: the thing about sex is, it feels good in the moment but when its
done, anything you had to deal with before still exist. Nothing is worst than not enjoying the after joys of sex because you are upset about a pre-existing issue. Sex is great, but that problem you were facing before the bumping, will be there even after.
I am no expert on marriage and I really believe that as time continues together we will learn so much from each other that we could write a book (although we wouldn't ever really write a book) but on this day, six months in, I am so excited that I am learning in love and growing with this incredible man. What lessons did you learn early in your marriage? How have you adjusted to marriage life?
Yours Truly,
Mrs. Newlywed
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