Yes, I will celebrate at 6 months!

First things first, if someone had told me a year ago that today I would be married, I would have laughed so hard. Marriage was never one of those things I actively pursued, in fact, I remember someone once telling me that I don't even seem like the marriage type. I really don't know what that meant but here I am today happily married! Today makes six months since my husband and I exchanged our "I Dos" and on this day I decided to start blogging again because my life has changed so much in so little time. Blogging has always been therapeutic for me and I have connected with so many like-minded persons because of it, so doing this is needed.

When they tell you marriage is not a destination it is a journey, they were right. 

If you know me, you know that I procrastinate; in every area of my life. If I have something to do, I will wait until the due date to get serious about completing it. I am not proud, but this is who I am. My procrastination did not go away when dealing with planning my wedding. Beyond my dress, everything for the wedding was in my head, planned and figured out, but in reality was not done. I remember having to block the wedding planner a few times because she kept reminding me about deadlines that (in her opinion) I was not taking seriously. Despite it all, everything we wanted became a reality when we walked down the aisle exactly six months ago. I enjoyed that summer day to the fullest and seeing my husband smile from ear to ear made me the happiest bride in the world.

Now what?!

We had a late afternoon wedding that continued until about midnight where we drank and danced the night away. Everything about the wedding was true to who my husband and I are as a couple. After we left the wedding site, our friends who flew in for the wedding along with most of the bridal party went up to our honeymoon suite, ordered a crap load of food and drinks and we laughed, drank and partied until the wee hours of the morning. Once everyone left, I remember laying on the bed in my dress looking at my husband and thinking, we are married, now what?!

Every week since the wedding I have selected one of the well wish cards and advice that I received during the wedding shower and the one common piece of advice that I have received is "marriage is not a destination but rather a journey". When people stop me and ask "how is the marriage life treating you", I typically respond with a pure answer and it is usually something like "it is a learning process" or "we are adjusting well". The blank stares I get in response are the funniest. But in these short six months, I have learned the true meaning of marriage is to journey together in love, despite the obstacles, being transparent and honest about feelings, ideas and decisions as hard as they may be.

So here I am, six month later with three things I have learnt after my first six months of marriage:

1. Communication is Key: I know this may sound cliche but communicating, whether it is good or bad, is truly key. I have no issue saying what is on my mind, but for me learning how to say things in a way that is not disrespectful, is clear and does not set the wrong tone, was a definitely challenge.Ladies, men are much more emotional than we think. Believe me!
   
2. Transparency makes everything better: keeping things bottled up does not solve any problem. When I am most transparent with my feelings and what I want, my hubby is happiest. This is not always easy and it is not something that comes natural to most, including me, but it makes all the difference. I would say to be prepared for transparency, it is not always the easiest pill to swallow.
    
3. Sex doesn't solve problems: the thing about sex is, it feels good in the moment but when its
   done, anything you had to deal with before still exist. Nothing is worst than not enjoying the after joys of sex because you are upset about a pre-existing issue. Sex is great, but that problem you were facing before the bumping, will be there even after. 

I am no expert on marriage and I really believe that as time continues together we will learn so much from each other that we could write a book (although we wouldn't ever really write a book) but on this day, six months in, I am so excited that I am learning in love and growing with this incredible man. What lessons did you learn early in your marriage? How have you adjusted to marriage life? 

Yours Truly, 

Mrs. Newlywed 

Mom Crush Monday Feature: Jasmine Chanelle

Jasmine Chanelle
The J. Chanelle Group, LLC

I met Jasmine online about a year ago as I was searching for fellow marketing and pr professionals. Her page stood out to me because beyond her role as a brand strategist, her page really captured her love for her son and family. If you scroll through her page you get a snapshot of what she values most and that includes, branding, motherhood, wife life and creating a successful life, in no particular order. About nine months ago she revealed that she was expecting and I got so excited! I was also a little nervous because I thought, how will she continue to do these great things now with baby number two. Nine months later and she is still posting daily, hosting classes, taking on new clients and being an overall kick-ass mom!

How she does it? 

Jasmine spent some time answering a few questions from me on balancing life as mom and entrepreneur:

What is your career? Is this something that conflicts with your role as mom/ becoming a mom? I am the Principal Brand Strategist and owner of The J. Chanelle Group, LLC. This hasn’t conflicted with my role as a mom because I am able to control my own schedule as a full time entrepreneur.

On average, what amount of time do you spend weekly at work/ pursuing your career? 
I spend 40+ hours a week building my business

On Work Life Balance

You seem to have mastered the phrase "work-life balance" Tell us the secret! 
I think we have to focus on work life harmony and not work life balance. Something is always going to fall through the cracks you just have to decide each day which thing is more important.Becoming a mom helped me learn to set healthy boundaries. In the past I would say yes to a lot of things even if they caused inconveniences to me. Now as a mom I have to use my time more wisely which means saying “no” to things that don’t benefit me or my family. Setting boundaries has really allowed me to have more peace and manage my time better.

Let’s face it, while we all love our little ones, there are times when we as women simply need our own space/ time. Do you ever feel guilty as a mom taking a “mommy break”?
No I don’t feel guilty when taking a break, and I am very intentional with my self care time. I know that the best mommy is a happy and sane one so I indulge in self care so that I can be rejuvenated and calm when it’s time to go back to mom and wife mode.

If there was one thing that hasn’t been invented as yet that can make your job as a mother easier what would it be?

That’s a really good question, I’m not sure what would make motherhood easier other than a second set of arms and another brain lol

Husbae or Baby? Which comes first

Which comes first: husbae or baby? 
That’s a hard one! As a newlywed I’m learning that marriage comes first because we both have to be great partners in order to be good parents but this is something I’ve learned and am still practicing over time.

What advice would you give moms who feel overwhelmed with life balance and not being their “best self”? 
Enjoy the moment! Kids grow fast and those early years are the most formative. Also I would advise new moms to give themselves grace. Motherhood is a life-long journey and you will make mistakes, learn along the way and trust your instincts. I believe that indulging in self-care is super important to balance, how often to you indulge in self-care and what does self-care mean to you?
I indulge in some form of self care every week, whether it’s a nail date or diving into a new book I take time once a week to treat myself to something that makes me feel relaxed or happy. Self care to me is finding ways to give back to yourself as much as you give to others.


Jasmine can be found on Instagram: @_jasminechanelle . Follow her for more #momboss inspiration!